Coffee

A red light, coffee, and a better path.
This re-run post is about one very significant life spill.

_____________________________

It's hard to lay loved things down. It's hard to start in a new direction -- even if it's a good direction. Sometimes it's brought on by a job, an addiction, or a relationship. There are times when we just know ... that thing is no longer what's best for us. Whatever-It-Is isn't the point. The point is the choice that has to be made.

Sometimes the entire course of a life's direction simply has to change. In times like that, God has had to snap his fingers in my face, to break my stare, and get my attention.

This was one of those days. I think God used a spilling coffee cup to get my attention. But it wasn't about the coffee. It was about one of those things that wasn't best anymore. I had to let go, and lay it down in faith, so new life could begin. It was a radical redirection. And honestly, now I'm more willing to follow where He points, because of this red light spill, and where it led me.

So, today, if you are at a crossroads ...
if you know, somewhere down in your soul, that you are being asked to lay something down so new Life can begin ...
if you feel that quiet inner nagging to trust and obey what you know God is asking you to do, then maybe you need to hear me say this. Lean in close and listen.
"Just do it."

RedLightSpillandABetterRoad

Kleigh
3.05


I could not make the choice
until God landed me at an intersection.
He told me to stop
and follow a different direction --
not left, right.
180 degrees. Opposite. Repentant.
And in the tension of halting,
it became apparent:
I had been driving on my own chosen road.
I had become a junky of my own making --
A mental prisoner in need of freedom.

As I was literally approaching a main stoplight in town,
He spoke through a woman’s words on the radio,
“Sister, if you know God is asking you to do something,
trust and obey.
Just do it.”

Five times over
With Nike determination
“Just do it.”


"Trust and obey ... just do it."
In my heart, in that moment, I knew it meant
“Stop.”

The yellow light in the intersection turned red.
Brakes screeched.
I lurched forward.
The coffee cup in my hand spilled wildly.
The chaos of a burning mess caused me jump, and wake to the danger of my course.
The scalding was confirmation;
The answer to many questions.

What spills out of my cup
when my life’s direction comes to a screeching red-light halt?

The contents of the cup that I hold and carry always with me.
The cup from which I constantly sip.

What is in it?
My daily dose of addictive, soul-revving contents.

What is distracting me from my Jesus path?

My daily fix.
The thing that beckons every morning as a friend,
But secretly means my misdirection.
The thing that preoccupies my steering hand and steals my focus.

It is the thing I can no longer carry with me.
I can not drink it in, and expect to be able to drive my own life.
Set it down, dump it out, give it up.
Lay it down again and do not pick it up.


Stop.

My first response after obeying the stoplight edict
Was longing;
Longing to catch-up to the car I was following
and re-engage, re-ignite, reclaim that road.
A nagging lure to go back and regain what was lost,
traveled with me,
Awkward and uncomfortable.

But, over time, on a new path
I discovered a clear and confirmed grace.
In the providence of God’s redirecting voice,
there is preservation, strength, transformation.

Stopped. Spilled on. Scalded.

This is God’s real grace and love for me.
It is God at the Stoplight,
And me, covered with providential spills and stains
A humbled mess
waiting for directions.
Empty-handed,
open-grasp,
finally,
willing to follow
a better road.


"Obedience is the road to freedom, humility the road to pleasure..."

C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory and Other Addresses

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2 comments:

Heather said...

Your writing is so beautiful. Scary to think about dropping my vices. Thanks for really encouraging all of us to Trust. Love you.

Julie said...

I found you from Sarah Markley's blog. I loved what you wrote here... couldn't agree more... Laying down in my opinion is the beginning of new life emerging...

This is my first visit here... It's great to meet you.

I'd love to have you stop by my blog. I'm writing about my journey out of religion into grace.

I love meeting new people!
Have a blessed day!
Julie